source: long time acquaintance

I had met him almost two years ago and at the time he had a girlfriend; and I had just gotten out of a long relationship. He had seemed like the dark brooding type who was distant and a bit arrogant. I always had the impression he really didn’t like me. I ran into him at a mutual friend’s house on a random night around the holidays, as soon as I saw him, I thought to myself… ‘Oh, no! This guy does not like me.’ We actually started talking to catch up because it had been about a year and a half since I had last seen him. The conversation flowed easily and he was actually very kind, I’m not sure why but I gave him my number not really thinking anything of it. He and I know a lot of people in common and so I opened the door for friendship.

He started texting and flirting via text which was a lot of fun and a great way to open the door to something more than friendship. I started to joke with him then about being the Runaway Fireman because of the experience I had with him when I first met him. He was sort of known for disappearing for blocks of time and he happened to be a fireman.  The first time we spoke on the phone  I was seriously surprised, we had much more in common than I could have possibly imagined. He was totally out of my box because I am not generally attracted to men in uniform nor had I ever considered dating one, especially one that disappears!

Anyway, he seemed really fun and I was looking forward to spending time with him. We actually went on a bunch of dates and I was really enjoying myself, he was fun, respectful and laid back. However, he would disappear for days at a time so the lack of consistency left me wondering and feeling less inclined to open up with him which I explained. I didn’t need to hear from him every day; however some level of consistency for me would foster trust. When I shared this with him he was very responsive and I felt very cared for…then…well… *sigh* this happened:

He had referred to do business with a friend of his who actually lives out of state which I felt very grateful for. I had spoken with his friend and we talked bout the mutual opportunity available in a joint venture. This venture would have required a lot of trust on my part and I didn’t know this guy. I obviously wanted to speak to the one who referred me to him, the fireman. Then what started off as a joke became reality, he truly became the Runaway Fireman. I called him to talk about this and text him and he did not respond for days. I felt ignored and blatantly disregarded…not even a response saying, “I’m busy.” Nada. I felt frustrated  because we had spent a lot of time together and so I sent him a text saying, “This is NOT cool. If you have something going on then at least let me know instead of ignoring me.” We had an interchange and phone call which ended with him reacting very negatively to me even though I didn’t mean to say anything unkind to him.

A few days went by and I was going to be in his area, so I sent him a text message asking if he’d like to talk to clear the air. I cared about the guy and even if we weren’t dating I wanted to stay friends with him. He was going to be going out of time and said he would text me when he got back, which he did. On a Friday afternoon we met. I felt hurt and disregarded by this man who I had come to begin to care about and wasn’t sure where he was coming from. We talked for about an hour and a half where he apologized for being unkind to me. However, he also said to me, “It’s so sad, I just don’t know how to love.” The feeling I got from him is that he wanted me to feel sorry for him. I said, “No one knows! No one knows how to love! Whether you grew up in the Brady Bunch or the most awful family no one feels they were loved enough and no one knows how to love. You just fumble through it, like life, you do the best you can with what you know. No one knows!” OMG! Seriously? I felt so exasperated at his comment! Oh, and the weird part was it was like he didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that we were dating or starting a relationship on some level. It was a frustrating conversation, however I felt that I did the best I could and was honest and up front…and there’s not much more I can do other than that…so it was done.

So, the next night I wasn’t physically feeling that well, but I ended up going out with a couple of my girls anyway. I was wearing a huge pea coat because I was cold and wasn’t feeling like my normal social self. One of my friends got up to use the restroom and while she was gone a VERY attractive man sat down and from the moment he started talking had me in stitches. He was hilarious and goofy and HOT! He lived in Pomona which is a city I have no reason to travel to; however, ironically I was going to be there that week. We agreed to hang out and he was going to come to a comedy show I was going to.

Fast forward a few days…I am in Pomona and at the Starbucks where he and I are going to meet. While I was waiting I was texting my friend and found out that the Runaway Fireman had been flirting with and asking her out while he was dating me, and she is one of my closest friends and he knows it. We had no commitment however a level of respect for my inner circle woulda been nice. She made it clear to him that she wouldn’t go out with him because of how close she and I are! I was a bit shocked because he seemed to have some level of integrity…apparently not! So glad that ended…

The new guy shows up and we sit down, he had asked me what I do for a living and knew what my friends do for work…however, I hadn’t asked him. So, I asked him. He said, “I’m a fireman.” I BURST out laughing! He said, “What? What?” I couldn’t help myself it was one of the funniest experiences of my life!

OMG! Seriously? Really?

Did God place a tattoo on my forehead? I had NEVER dated a man in uniform before the Runaway Fireman…and now here I am with Fireman No. 2!